Of Masks and Meaning

I’m writing this because I believe it will somehow bring some closure as I feel a duty to do so, having survived the crazy corona. Also, I’m probably not alone in wanting some of the negativity and myths to end. Social media, you can be just the worst. People, stop playing around with the hype about this pandemic. It’s not some silly conspiracy. Take my word for it or not, but until you’ve experienced it, you really need to keep quiet about the validity of the virus.

I’m 48 years old and I know pain, discomfort, suffering - just like you know it. And I’m here to tell you I’ve never before suffered like I did with COVID. MISERY should be the name. MISERY. Because that’s what you feel in all the ways; especially physically and mentally. Misery for a solid ten days and add to that another five days of feeling somewhat improved and another several to feel better. It’s been over a month since I first became ill (I’m well now) and I’m still waiting for the return of the full amount of energy I knew before the virus.

For me, things started with decreased energy levels I attributed to a hectic schedule. After a few days, I hit a wall and could not “go” any further. During the night after running completely out of energy, I began feeling achey and running a fever, unable to sleep for feeling so awful. I don’t remember much about the first couple days beyond the stabbing, shooting pain deep into muscle tissue and bones, headache, fever, lethargy, nausea, tightness in my chest, coughing... these things may sound like the flu but think other-worldly versions of what you know as these symptoms. I’m not sure we have the appropriate names for this version of symptoms. The next ten days were pretty much more of the same except the fever didn’t hang around after a couple days and my eyes began to feel like someone was squeezing them from the inside out. That was fun. Headache, eye pain, body aches, and full-on fatigue were my norm for too long. I was glad to see them go. I could go on but I think you get the picture. It was ugly and bad, did I mention miserable?

Just please, please stop with the negative remarks about this being a joke or some government plot to control us. I hope the government reads what so many of us are saying about it. Government, we the people see you. The virus may not be your game, but in some other ways you may just be trying to control us and we don’t like it. We won’t stand for that kind of thing. At first, I thought the government crossed a line telling me to wear a mask, like it or not. I believe in choice because all-powerful GOD gave that to us when He created us. I also believe in respecting the government because God says to respect authority. Wearing a mask is probably a very sound decision as it prevents spit from spewing everywhere, hence providing at least some type of barrier against the spread of COVID the Misery bug. Now, I’ll gladly wear my masks when in public. I mean, who doesn’t love a good tie-dye fashion accessory (my daughter’s great idea)?!

Wear a mask when you’re prone to spew spit on others. Play nice now.

There is always meaning to be found in a situation and COVID is no exception. God helped me through it by staying with me in it and bringing my entire family to a place of healing from the virus. We asked Him for protection from any complications and He gave us that gift. We asked God for strength to endure whatever came with the virus. He honored our request. Most meaningful, for me, was a greater awareness that I can do nothing, and God can do everything good. And while He’s working it out for good, He’s closer than the oxygen I breathe. There’s a C. S. Lewis quote, “God doesn’t want something from us. He simply wants us.” This was never more clear to me than during and since the experience of the virus. I had no effort in the survival. I did note my need of God and His Promises, His Presence. That’s it though. That’s the end of me. God reminded me again and again survival or thriving, is not up to me. It belongs to Him.

God doesn’t want something from you. He simply wants you. Just you. Yes, you.

I would absolutely go through MISERY/COVID again if that’s the only way I would have ever realized these things. Life is better now having the good He gave me during the pandemic, that He’s still giving us all. May be a wise choice to throw out the word “normal” for now, or longer. We can’t count on normal, but we can count on God to see us through.

Look for meaning. It’s there.